highlights of my day:

heard some kids use the "n" word in the hallway. almost told them to shut up, but they were redneck guys & i thought they'd lynch me.

some girl wore hashi in her hair, geta, rainbow toe socks, and a rainbow pancho. it was international day. i forgot or i would've worn something.

sensei made little kid noises when he was deciding to do something. i was only one who laughed, but he didn't notice.


i bought a pair of jeans last week that were a bit too big. wore them today and had to roll the tops because they were way too big. D:

Labels: personal

so, it turns out some drunk guy hit a fifty-six year old guy and didn't notice. he thought maybe he hit someone but kept on driving. the fifty-six year old's torso was hanging out the back of his truck. the police pulled him over first, for a broken windshield, then noticed the body. it amazes me the police didn't notice. O:

i find it interesting the lady that showed us plants said they wanted to restore the land as it was 200+ years ago, but frowned upon the cat-tail hybrids that were forcing common animals to find new homes. i wonder how she fails to realize that if they restore the land, local animals will have to move because they're used to living on the same kind of land for 200 some years. one cannot force adaption of an entire species, without mother nature as a step between. they want to grow the plants via greenhouses then plant it back. HMM. sounds like a fail plan.

the rest of the day was pretty good. i have an english test over shit she never taught us, but read in a horrible voice and didn't explain shit. boo.

Labels: news, personal

lately i've been getting really annoyed. some fucker in environmental science won't stop complaining and trying to look cool. one of these days i'm going to attack, and it's not going to be pretty.

there's this girl i'm not friends with anymore (waste of time and space) and i can't even handle listening to her voice because it's high and FUCKING ANNOYING AS FUCK. we were watching that movie in japanese and everytime cici would laugh, she would look over to cici and laugh. retarded, i know. she also got hit my another friend's dad, which left a dent in her car-last year. she made a big deal and told everyone. they made the dad pay. the car still isn't fixed. it's full of bullshit. i can only imagine what they did with the money.

my mother keeps pretending she knows more about things than i do. she's convinced she knows more about japan than i, which she doesn't. i've been studying four years and she's going on what a friend told her, before my freshman year. she also tried to tell me i knew very little of the fashion world and that the entire industry is only about drugs and sex. yeah okay, mother fucker.

Labels: personal, update

MOVING TO MY BUZZNET

Labels: buzznet, moving, personal

Assuming junior year would be easy was a big mistake. It's not like it's hard work, but the stress and mental factors are HUGE. Having an anxiety disorder fucking sucks. If you don't have one, especially if you don't have GAD, then you won't know how bad it actually is. I can't stop worrying about the littlest of things and it's driving me crazy. ;__;

I have the fucking sculpture project from hell. Our teacher has horrible time management skills and assumes we're all going to be awesome at cutting glass and shit. It's ridiculous. I have a ton of holes and the blue glass breaks at every place. She even told me it was the hardest glass to cut and has messed up a few of my pieces. I wish it was magically done.

I job shadow at salon 218 now. I went in for the first time and it was pretty fun. I'm supposed to go in tomorrow, but I don't really have time. Hopefully next week, 'cause I'm not sure I'll be back until after break. To anyone who wants to get into a certain industry, I suggest job shadowing. You don't have to pay anything, the people are nice, and you learn a lot more. Depending on what the job is, you may even be able to be hands on. I cannot. I heard back from Don Roberts and can start classes next year, but it's over eleven thousand, so I don't think I'll be able to attend.

I've started role playing again. Huzzah. I've got a few forums started again, and I may post links when more people join, aside from two. I'm actually going to see if I could start another one. That, or I'll just write a smutty story involving god-like beings, but not actual gods. <3

Labels: personal, update

I got an offer for a job shadow here in town. I'm set to call them tomorrow and maybe show up on Saturday, which would be awesome. :D I'm also contacting some colleges for vocational purposes. If all goes as planned, I can start this summer and continue senior year (2010), 'cause I lost my chance this year. What I'm going for is a two year program, so that chance is lost, or I'd be able to do it. Of course, I still have to talk to my counselor, but I'd prefer to have more information. I'll keep you guys updated.

Labels: personal

It should be said that I adore Raquel Reed, but not in a crazed fan way. The thing that draws me most is her style. A fashion stylist aspire-e like myself, would be drawn to her like a fly (excuse the cliche). She combines over the top colors, prints, and textures with a classy style. There's not anything I could love more. I'm a firm believer that fashion needs a splash of color, however small. All black/monotone is fine, I suppose, but I feel that inspiration and creativity run wild with color involved. Anyway, I first came across Raquel a year or two ago, it's hard to say, really. I'm pretty sure I was searching for scene queens or what a scene queen was, when I stumbled upon a girl with blue hair. Initially, I wasn't all that interested in her, but these last few months have blown up crazily. I'm not even sure what got me back into her. I'm fairly sure I was looking at Israel Hilton's myspace or something and saw a picture of her and wanted to see more (he did her hair, tori did make up). Or, the more probable is that I was on twitter (because I follow her) and she posted an image about customizing some kind of outfit or whatnot. There's also this picture which is highly inspirational. I kind of love everything about her style, from her overly decorated tops to the coolest shoes on the planet. Quick bio found on the net. It's a bit dated, though. Raquel Reed is a model/Go-go Dancer originally from California. Raquel Reed is an implausible electronica rock star and astonishing model. She is the new face of the New York underground scene and an Internet celebrity with an absurd fan base. She is known for "changing her hair more than Joan Rivers gets plastic surgery". She was once the side-kick of Transvestite Sensation Jeffree Star, but due to friendship problems, they no longer communicate. She is the idol of TK Mayhem, aspiring 'Hello Kitty Queen of KC'.

Despite how good Raquel is, she never actually wanted to be a model. She wanted to be a singer, and plans on doing so (but she's okay with modeling). She's shot for Shut Up! Magazine, and was featured in Fashion Central Magazine where she had her own spread. (fashioncentralmagazine.com). She currently lives in NY with her boyfriend. She works as a MAC make-up artist in NYC. She can usually be seen with friends Cazwell (Gay rapper) and Amanda Lepore (Transgender Celeb). I've always admired those who can customize their clothes and actually make them look good. Her hair is spectacular also. It may be bordering obnoxious, but flows well with the rest of her person. I don't want to be a model or singer as her, but as for style, I'm striving toward that.

Labels: online, personal, raquel reed, scene

Last weekend was my birthday (the 22nd) and we went thrift store shopping. My sister wanted to go to the mall, but I figured that if we went thrift shopping we'd get more, and boy did we. My niece Brianna came over and went shopping with us. It was a lot of fun and my findings were:
moccasin booties with fringe
black pumps
black boots with beading at the top
two pairs of pants
a jacket type thing- navalesque
a ton of books
antique white short heels. they look a bit dancer-ish.

all in all, it was a nice day. :D

Labels: fashion, personal, shoes

hey guys, i promise there's going to be some updates soon! later today really. i've got more plans for my future to share with you, along with inspiration and other goodies~

guess who got fame monster?

Labels: personal, update

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
there was a GIGANTIC MOTHER FUCKING SPIDER AT LUNCH TODAY. it was under lauren's chair. O: think like, daddy long leg big, but fatter, darker brown, and a little shorter legs. i almost died. ;___; of course, they use my psych book to kill it. greattttttttttt. so i sanitized it. : D but fuck, it was crazy.

Labels: personal, school

I'M NOT DEAD.
i'm just not that interested in the world around me. the highlights of my days consist of going to japanese and watching destination truth. i'm so done with school. i want to be an adult so badly. fuck, i'd rather just sleep for the rest of my life. D< i dunno, i just need something to inspire me or keep my attention. math and sculpture are fucked up. i'm behind on my project to the point where i'm going to have to take it home or waste my srts doing it, but i need my srts to finish my english. math isn't as horrible as it could be, but i haven't been doing all my homework and i have a feeling i'm narrowly missing her from cornering me into doing word problems. ;___; that's all for now.

XOXO ashley~

Labels: personal

i've been having some problems with a friend, that i'm hoping aren't one sided. for years now, so it's not just spur of the moment, little things/shit she's been doing has been annoying me and it's all been building up. well now, i'm tired of it and i'm kind of done wanting to be friends with her.

so, i sent her a message friday, well, actually three, because i had grown impatient, and i was waiting in suspense to hear back from her, because we all know i have an anxiety problem, and i finally did! she had just agreed to it, so that's actually really nice for me, though i'm sure she doesn't feel all that great at the moment. i mean, i was trying to do it in the nicest way possible, so i guess i'm going to see tomorrow. i really hope she's not sitting by my locker when i get out of the radio station like normal, i kind of just need this freedom at the moment-like greatly.

that's been my day so far.

Labels: personal

today was the oz festival. it's finally back in our town. it's been like five or so years since it's been here. every hotel is booked and the town was full of fucking people. O: i got chanel earrings. i love them. they're little studs with the "cc" symbol in diamond. god, i loved the booth i got them from. :D there were so many awesome bags and they even had ed hardy shit! i wanted an ed hardy bag and chanel bag, but they were expensive, like $60.00, which sucked, but hey, i got my earrings. i've been wanting them since last year when i saw a similar pair at the scarecrow festival. at least i think it was last year? they had little hello kitty stubs which were cute, so if we go tomorrow i'mma prolly get them too.

we went over to tracy's house where my dad and doc were getting drunk. xD my mom and dad don't drink, unless it's a large party thing which only happens once a year or not even a year. he's been sober for a reallllly long time. anyway, i played bean bags (like horse shoes) for money and got TWENTY DOLLARS. it was awesome. we kept playing and i got better and soon i was on everyone's team. :D it was sweet. i got to poke fun at doc all the time so it was a nice day.

i hadn't really eaten anything aside from a corndog at like five, so when sam and i got back from our second visit, i didn't feel too good. i played too more games and then we went home. i'll try to get some photos up of my earrings, but for that i need to sneak sam's camera and charge it at the same time. it's not going to be easy.

Labels: chanel, oz fest, personal

wednesday to today wasn't awesome.
my friend is starting to really piss me off with the little shit she does and i'm losing interest in her very quickly. D< i need to talk to her about it, but i'm not really in the mood. i'm done with anxiety for a while, 'kay thanks. i was supposed to have a speech thing in english today which never happened. i go on tuesday, as does most of the class. i almost had a heart attack today all thanks to my anxiety. disorders fucking suck.

i made a new layout, as you can see. :D well, i made the image anyway. i didn't feel like making another code, so i found one i really liked and just changed the image and colors, everything else is credited and i don't claim it as my own in any way. O:

oz fest is tomorrow, so it should be fun! that's all for now.

Labels: personal, update

it's that time of the year guys and we all know what that means:

wishlist
▲ Topshop USA - Beaded Collar Swing Dress $199.00
▲ New makeup $50=100.00
▲ New glasses $100.00+
▲ Mouse Zip Up Charm- makeup bag $8.28
▲ Topshop USA - Oversized Zebra Cardi $53.00
▲ Dark Flower Bandeau Dress $75
▲ Tara Fringe Moccasin Boot $275
▲ High wasted black skirts/skirts that can be worn high wasted $20.00+?
▲ Black pumps $20.00+?
▲ Tory Burch Agate printed silk top $335.00
▲ Black tights/leggings $6.00
▲ Leather/faux leather jacket $100.00+
▲ Overly large tank tops and tees $50.00+?
▲ Wide legged jeans $50.00?
▲ Hair bows $20.00?
▲ Becca Striped Tunic $35.00
▲ Samsung SL102 Black 10MP Digital Camera $99.88 (because sam won't let me use hers)
▲ Camryn Floral Print Skirt $35.00
▲ WILDFOX COUTURE - Bunny Baby Crew Tee $64.00
▲ D&G Dolce & Gabbana Bow-embellished silk blouse $295.00
▲ Philosophy Di Alberta Ferretti Sequin-embellished mesh dress $1480.00
▲ Japanese blue and yellow striped sweater-eruca $275.00
▲ Black trainers $80.00?
▲ Floral dress-eruca $335.00
▲ More gladiator sandals $15.00+

this is serving as both a wishlist and set list for polyvore. i can guarantee more will be added. :D

Labels: personal, wishlist

quirky, perfectionist, fashionable, innovative, sexy, chupacabra? personally, i don't get the last part, but hey, why not add it on?

rachel zoe is my idol, coming in close second with my sensei, but that's beside the point. many others think the same, but that's both a good and bad thing. obviously, it's good i've got an idol, but it's also important to remember that if there are hundreds of others that feel the same about me, that she must be doing something right. i know i'm not alone when i say she's the goddess of style. on the other hand, because so many people think this, i look like just another teenage girl trying to find myself and just want to get into the fashion business.

i suppose that's true, for the most. i mean, i'm trying to "find myself" but that's not going to happen in the next two years-until i get into the real world. but, this isn't about me.

rachel has her own show, which i watch religiously. some people think she's just trying to be in the spotlight and become more like a celebrity, but here are a few things to keep in mind:
-her show doesn't focus just on her. yes, it's named after her, but you'll notice, brad, taylor, roger, and the rest of team zoe are all on it.
-clients are a large part of the show.
-look at the latest episode of her modeling. you can physically see how uncomfortable she is, but at least she tries.
-she's quoted as saying (something along these lines) " i don't like getting my photo taken at events. i never know where to stand or how to pose."

now, what celebrity wannabe would act like this if they wanted to be the next big thing? i thought not. as for her personal style, like i said before: beauty in the eye of the beholder. there are limits for this though. the fashion world is ever changing, and one can't always be right.
but we try and that's what's important.

as for rachel's weight. yeah, i've noticed she's damn thin, but it's a healthy looking thin, so i'm doubting any and all accusations that's she's on drugs or has an eating problem. last season, she had to go to the doctor for an ulcer due to stress. i'm sure all of us can account for having some kind of problem because of large amounts of stress. myself, i get heart pains and sometimes lose weight because of it-and i'm a junior in high school. now, add twenty years and one of the hardest jobs, and imagine how bad the stress level is.

remember how brad had said how bad his was? yeah, i'm sure rachel's is worse, because a) her job is actually much harder/more (not that brad doesn't do a great job and i'm sure it's rather difficult) and b) she's the boss. when you're the boss and if things go wrong, you're blamed for it. throw in a perfectionist disorder and there you go, losing weight by the pounds.

there's no doubt in my mind that rachel is one of the best things to happen to me. i hadn't actually known about her before her show and hadn't wanted to watch it, but she drew me in and bam! i had been wanting to be in the fashion business since i was little, and she just set me farther into motion of wanting to be a stylist. i lack the confidence to actually show my styles, because fuck, if you were a five foot chubby kid with an anxiety problem, wouldn't you feel good if people looked at you oddly because of what you were wearing? i thought not.

but, rachel just inspired me. simple as that. this year, every outfit i've put together has been thought out and i've been trying to make my own clothes stylish without having to buy new ones. let's face it, parents aren't going to spend money on clothes this year. i fell a lot better about myself, now that i've started putting my become-a-stylist- operation into effect, so thank you rachel. :D

let's get back to rachel inspiring me, shall we? i...wait long for her show. it literally pushes me harder to reach my goal in life when i watch it. i can't quite explain it. the "juices start flowing". flooding my mind is more like it. i can look at a picture of rachel zoe in all her pretty-ness and want to raid my non-exist-cool-clothes and come up with a "hot" ourfit that'll make people go "bananas".

if rachel zoe can effect one sixteen year old girl this much, then why is she criticized for being a horrible stylist and person? i don't understand and maybe i never will, but i do know for a fact, i am obsessed with rachel zoe body and soul. so, what'ddya say? hop on the badwagon and check out this little lady: http://rachelzoe.com/

Labels: fashion, personal, rachel zoe, stylist

creative title, i know. but anyway, this is how my week and weekend has been:

thursday: i swear to god my sculpture teacher is on the breaking point. i found out yesterday that her sister had died, but she hadn't really taken off a lot of school when she was in the hospital and the like. i'm almost positive that she needs the time off or she's just going to lose it one day when someone messes up. anywho, i was just turning in my stained glass project. it was pretty shaky, but the weight was a little off, so yeah. as i was putting it in the bin she wanted us to, literally as i was, the side fell off because the small little section finally cracked all the way off. of course, my friends and i were laughing in disbelief, because come on, i was turning the effing thing in! i was just going to turn it in and pretend i didn't do anything, but being the good student i am, i told her.

she comes over, looks at the damage, and rips the ENTIRE SIDE OFF! i almost killed her. she laughed at me and said "looks like you're not turning it in today." and patted me on the back. D< jesus christ. i mean, i had just spent three class periods soddering the fucking thing and she just goes and breaks it. MY GOD. i was so pissed i almost started crying. see, i haven't done this before, because she said our class had it as extra credit (we did stained glass fish last year). i was damn proud. i spent an hour last class trying to find a plug that worked, 'cause half of them weren't working at all, and finally finished it. she hung it in the display. :)

friday & saturday: had to turn in early for an academy is concert on saturday. i really didn't want to go, because it was in a gym with a lot of college bodies and i didn't want to get sick. needless to say, my anxiety was on high alert. BUT, i got to wear my newest outfit, that i had actually made of clothes i owned and not bought, which was pretty awesome. so, i got up early too, because if i slept late, then i'd feel like shit at the concert. all day i was worrying, until my sister's friend came over to go, and i found out i didn't have to go. i was stoked, but felt bad, because i wouldn't get to see tim. D: oh, i took some new images too, but they're on my myspace. i will prolly share them. ah, saturday i got sick. it wasn't good and i'm still sick.

monday: i nearly died of a heart attack. i had to be at school at six to assist at the radio station and my dad didn't get me up until five thirty! everything that could go wrong it. the printer jammed three times from me trying to print and then it wouldn't print. i had to send him the news from the weather station to the fm studio and then he had to read the weather from the computer. O: i felt so bad, 'specially since gorman is always the dj i'm helping out with.

soooo, i'm not the only one who watched the rachel zoe project right? guys, seriously, send me a message or comment or something so we can talk about this. i am still in shock about what people said about her. i mean, i understand there are a lot of people who don't like her, but remember guys, beauty in the eye of the beholder. i myself love her own personal style, but whatev. i still don't see how she can be a druggie. i mean, i've been trying to see it, but it's just not coming along. O: but guys, honestly, don't say shit that doesn't look like it, just because it's fun to nag about people, 'cause it's L-A-M-E. i felt really sorry for rachel when she was at the photoshoot. x0 but hey, not everyone is comfortable, but she did look amazing. need i mention, rachel, that your hair looks totally fab in a low bun? i'd die to have your hair! i mean, mine's naturally curly, but shit, yours is godly~

tuesday: not a lot. japanese was amazing, like always. shiho said she thought something on my facebook profile was cute, but i didn't catch it. abi offered me some candy, but i turned her down and gave her a thumbs up. shiho did it to me, and both of us giggled for a minute or two. there was an earth club meeting and i'm on staff. YAY, exciting, but that's about it for today. check back tomorrow.

Labels: personal, update

i've decided, english is a joke. i honestly have no want to put effort into this class. there's no reason for me to. her outline and shit is basically mr. uehling and mr. pishkur's put together. her entire rule shit is both of theirs and uses the same course design. D< LAME.

but yeah, that's all i've got to say.

oh, well, i'm going to indiana beach tomorrow, and am going to see if i can get some teeshirts done~

Labels: personal, school

tomorrow is my first gold day, guys. our school colors are maroon and gold, so we've got days split up into maroon and gold. the year always starts out with maroon, which was wednesday, but there was a tornado wednesday, so thursday, a gold day, was cancelled. i've got all my easy classes this day. :/ BUT, tomorrow will be super easy, 'cause it's basics and rules and shit, but i've got homework, so eh. this week is also a gold week, since last was maroon. this just means the first day of the week is either maroon or gold, hence the "week" color and majority of days of same classes.

i made/edited a new myspace layout. it's a default, but i'm IN LOVE with it. totemo. <3

Labels: myspace, personal, school

D<
we lost internet and tv tuesday and my parents just make for it to come back today. it sucked, but i also got quite a few things done. the first is a new character and story line, a role playing game for my friends and i, and cleaning my closet.
though, my closet didn't need to be cleaned that badly, i did it for a trade to look in my mom's closet. she doesn't really use one, because all her clothes are downstairs in the basement, so the clothes in there are old. i found some good stuff, but i really wanted to look at her shoes, because she said she had some pumps and whatnot, but i couldn't find them, even after she told me where they were. :/ But, out of the clothes, i found two vests and a jumpsuit type thing with shorts that i'm going to wear to school. :D oh, we also went to the resale shop, where i got two new pairs of earrings. one pair are clip-ons, round, are really big. the other is in a "l" shape where both sides curl in or out. both are gold plated, but obviously not real, and very light weight, which is a plus. did i mention both were pairs are large?

Labels: personal